I Ain’t Been With No Prostitute


No, I ain’t. But I have been in the company of friends who have, and it doesn’t seem to have done them any harm. This song is about an innocent home loving man arriving back after a late night out and being accused of all manner of sexual indiscretions by a highly suspicious wife. There are a number of references to global warming and terrible pollution, however this is somewhat of a red herring.


I know it’s late, but it’s not that late,
I’m unhappy with what you intimate,
Trust me, trust me, listen to me.
Trust me, trust me, can’t you see?

I ain’t been with no prostitute today.
I ain’t been with no prostitute, OK?
It’s 2 am, but I can explain,
It’s 2 am I missed the train,
It’s 2 am what’s wrong with you?
It’s 2 am, I’m 42.

Prostitution is not the solution
To global warming and terrible pollution.
Hands up if you’ve been with a prostitute,
Thumbs up if you’ve been with a prostitute.

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